In the beginning of my first pregnancy, I honestly hadn't given much thought to the sex of the child I was carrying. I mean I only had a sister and, at the time, she had 2 girls. Why would I even consider having a boy? I had been saving her girl hand-me-downs for what seemed like eons - roughly 7 years. I had enough Rubbermaid totes of clothes to cloth a an entire state. I even painted one of the bedrooms in our house pink in anticipation of our future offspring.
You can imagine my surprise when the ultrasound showed I was harboring a little boy. Of course I was elated but the fear began to set in. What would I do with a little boy? All I knew was girls. What did I need to do to prepare myself for this revelation that was surely about to occur?
From the minute he was born, I just knew. I never remember doubting my ability to raise a boy. A child, yes, but not specifically a boy. Aside from the typical doubting all parents go through, I can't recall any boy-related questions that I haven't quickly found the answer to. Motherly instinct doesn't know gender, it's just there.
When I announced I was having a boy, the comments flooded in about how much boys loved their mothers. Don't all children love their mothers? My mom and I are the best of friends, and always have been, but I understand that is not the norm. Most girls bump heads with their mothers during their teenage years and certainly would not classify their mothers are their friends, let alone their best friends. So did this mean Colin would love me more than I love my mom?
Even though he's only 4, I'm beginning to see what they meant. Yes, girls love their mothers, but somehow it's just different with boys. For a boy to love their mother just seems sweeter, somewhat unexpected, if you will. Both of my boys prefer their mother's touch to their father's and they both gives hugs and kisses like they are going out of style. My heart melts every time one of those open-mouthed, wet and sloppy kisses is planted on my cheek. I smile from ear to ear when I hear Colin tell me that he loves me. For a boy to be so vocal about his feelings is just awesome!
Yesterday, Colin's daily report sheet from his school had a special note on it. It said, "Colin carried a special flower around with him all day today that he said was for his mom." There are honestly no words to express the way I felt when I read that. The saying goes that something 'melts your heart' and that's about as close I can come to explaining it. Even now as I type, I have a little lump in the back of my throat, you know the kind you get when you're fighting back tears. It's a feeling of satisfaction, honor, and pure bliss. Wow! I'm one lucky momma to get to enjoy 2 of these little delights!